So, as you all know, the past few months--at least in terms of dating--have been especially slow. Molasses on a cold Michigan morning type of slow. Personally, things have been zipping along quite speedily: went on vacation to the Cook Islands, got mistaken for a Fijian princess (ok, I'm making the princess part up, but evidently I look Fijian), ended one job, started another, thought I was closing on a house, didn't close on a house, and started training for a 5K in October (I'm completed my 10th run today and the burning, searing pain in my legs didn't appear!).
But, dating? Nothing. Tragedy.
Until last night when I got this text message from a foreign phone number: "Soooooo whatever happened between us?"
Before I tell you what happened next, you need some background. So, the next few posts will be totally about background and at the end, you'll get to choose what I do next. This will be kind of like the "Choose Your Own Adventure!" books from the 80s.
Flashback, Walmart, October 2010:
I'm strolling through Walmart, looking for a flashdrive and some other odds and ends. An attractive man walks past, stops, reverses, and comes back. He's built the way I like 'em--large. 6'2, built like a lineman, not a wide receiver. We strike up conversation, exchange numbers, and decide to meet for dinner in a few days. We talk on the phone, all is good in the world.
We meet for dinner, have a really good time, and end up talking for another hour after we leave the restaurant. A few days later, we meet for breakfast at a local spot. Breakfast, too, is good. We get along well and I'm digging this guy. Seriously digging. He asks to come with me to hot yoga and the farmer's market. Sweet.
The next time we meet (and I made a rookie mistake, I admit this up front) he asks me over to watch the football game. I go. (Yes, in retrospect, I realize that this was a bad idea). We watch the game, but then he starts to get physical. Now, I like some good old fashioned 1996 petting, but I'm not at all into sex with strangers. And, quite frankly, this guy is still a stranger to me. Before things get too hot-and-heavy, I stop the action (which he begrudigly accepts) and decide that the best thing for me to do is go home and take an ice bath.
We talk the next day and he asks me to set up a massage for him with one of my co-workers who is a holistic healer who gives essential oils massages. I set up the massage for two weeks. That weekend, I leave town to go on my annual wine trip with my girlfriends and I'm smiling ear-to-ear. He calls me on my way to the airport and we talk. I'm digging this guy. Seriously digging.
I get back home and after a few days I send him a text to confirm the massage he asked me to set up. No response. No problem. I wait another day and text again to confirm or cancel the massage. No response. Slight problem. I cancel the massage the day before, apologize to my co-worker and am irritated at the guy's rudeness. He's making his way to DNA status.
A few days later, he calls and offers absolutely no apology for his complete blowing me off. He does say, "that wasn't a big deal, was it?" Which made it a big deal. I'm not digging this guy. He then goes on and suggests that I cook dinner for him on the next Saturday. After watching "For Colored Girls," I'm against this idea for obvious reasons. I politely explain to him not to count on dinner. He then insists not only dinner, but a homemade cheesecake. I'm floored. Again, I suggest that he not count on dinner. We hang up. I'm not digging this guy. He's rude and obnoxious.
I share the story with a good male friend. Good male friend tells me that I'm too quick to put men in the DNA category and suggests that perhaps there was an emergency that the guy is embarassed about sharing with me. Good male friend then suggests that I step outside my comfort zone and cook dinner for the guy. Against my better judgement, I agree.
Stay tuned for what happened next. :)
Evelyn Parkside
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