Dateback 1: "Want to meet for coffee?" "Um, didn't we meet at your wedding?"

So to kick off Dateback, I've decided to use a story from back in the archives, circa 2008.

Imagine it, Halloween.  I was all decked out for the yearly festivities in a homemade French maid costume.  (Ok, I'll keep it real...I didn't feel like spending any money so I pulled out a black skirt, some black tights, a pair of shiny black heels, and a black cami-boustier-top-thingy that was collecting dust in my lingerie drawer.  Voila.)  I got ready to go to a yearly Halloween house party where I would dominate a game of spades.

At the party, there was a very attractive man--who was a cop during the day-- acting as the bartender.  A girlfriend and I talked with him most of the night, just having a good time.  He was mad cool and funny. The vibe was natural, not flirty.  The conversation flowed easily.  He offers my girl and me his number and says, "if you ever get a ticket, give  me a call."  Sweet.

Anyway, two hours into our conversation, one of his friends walks up and says, "Congrats on your last night as a free man!"  Turns out the guy was getting married in the morning.

Then it gets weird.  He turns to my girl and me and insists that we come to the wedding.  He says, "we ordered too much food, you all are cool, come kick it tomorrow night.  At least have dinner and party with us."

The next day, wedding day to be exact, he sends me a text--unsolicited--with directions to the reception.  I looked in the fridge, which was empty, and decided that free wedding dinner sounded decidely more interesting than dinner I would have to pay for.  So, I call my male BFF and convince him to come and crash with, as I needed a date.

My BFF agrees and we get all dressed up.  We get to the reception, eat some suprisingly tasty banquet chicken and dance.  The groom is walking around with a large diamond encrusted cup that looks like it was reminiscent of a Too Short video: The word "Pimp,"with its louche charm, is etched in bedazzles. 

My BFF and I laugh and we continue to have a good time.   The groom comes over, says hello and I introduce him to my "date."  I give him the wedding gift I picked up at Target 20 minutes before.  He goes back to the wife.  The newlyweds are glowering in loving bliss. I'm glowing from champagne. 

A short while later, when I was sufficiently full of wedding cake, the BFF and I leave.

I go home and go to sleep.  A few days past.  I forget about the wedding.

A day goes by.  Then two.  Then three.  Two weeks pass.  Nothing interesting happens.

Then, the phone rings.

One Saturday afternoon, as I am washing dishes, I hear my cell ring. I look at the phone quizzically, then answer.

I don't remember much of the conversation except for two things:

1.) It was short--about 6 minutes and
2.) He asked me on a date to Starbucks.

As this was a few years ago, my memory evades me.  But, I do clearly remember this guy asking how I'd been and if I'd like to meet at Starbucks, and get a cup of coffee so we could get to know each other.

 I also remember standing, mouth agape, and staring at the phone.  I could not believe that this guy, whose wedding I'd attended fourteen days prior, was actually trying to solicit a date.

Needless to say, I didn't go.  I did ask, "how's your wife doing?" before I hung up in utter disgust.

I've seen the guy a few times since: the next year at the same Halloween party, the MLK day parade where his friend tried to get my number and at a restaurant.  The last time I saw him he told me he was divorced (suprise, suprise) and asked when we were going out.  My answer was "never."





Evelyn Parkside

All Quiet on the Western Front

So, my dear readers, the past two few weeks have been quiet.  Utterly, despondently quiet.  No action.  Seriously, not a single person--be he man or be she woman--has inquired about my phone number or suggested a date.

Sadly, my dating life has gotten boring. 

So, I've decided to put a new segment on ye olde dating blog:  Dateback.  Until the guys start sniffing around again, I'll be posting a flashback of a date before I started this experiment.


 
Evelyn Parkside