Step One: Walk Away. Do NOT approach a woman when you're drunk.
Step Two: In the event you did not heed the advice of Step One, please read the vignette below.
Last night, my mom and I went out to dinner at one of the local steakhouses. As we were waiting for valet to bring the car, a gentleman walked out of the establishment, looked me up and down, licked his lips and said, "ooohhhhwee girl, I'd love a thick girl like you in my life." Did I mention that I was with my mother?
He then leans into me, grabs me around my waist, and pulls me toward him. His face is a mere inches from mine. I'm looking for a clear escape route. Intoxicated, he slurs how pretty I am to look at. Sigh. Did I mention that I was with my mother?
I uncurl his arm from around my waist and wonder how long it's going to take the valet guy to bring me my car. He then turns to my mom (Did I mention that I was with my mother?) and says, "your daughter sure is pretty. I mean no disrespect, but damn."
He then insists that I take his number down and give him a call. And, by insist, I mean he hovers over me, refusing to walk away until I indulge in this request. So, breaking my second rule, I do.
At that moment, the valet brings sweet refuge, my car.
Evelyn Parkside
